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Most babies learn to eat solid food fairly easily. They may pull faces and shudder when a strange food is spooned into their mouth the first few times but very soon are eating a good helping and are eager to eat. By the age of two, however, the appetite gets smaller because the rate of growth is slower. A two year old may develop definite food preferences. Food that has been eagerly eaten previously, suddenly loses its appeal. What can you do at mealtime if your child dawdles when eating, refuses food, plays with the food, or won’t try new food? Here are some suggestions:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Even young children have excellent memories but can also be very forgetful just like adults. My daughter was amazed recently when she told her 2 ½ year old that they were going to a nearby town. The child asked if they would be going to their old house, a place they left over a year ago. She recalled different places in the garden and what the inside of the house was like as well as games they used to play there. It is just as amazing to find that most children seem to forget within five minutes when they are asked to tidy up, wash for dinner, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, turn off the TV, do homework or get ready for bed. Children like adults seem to have selective memory. We remember pleasurable things. We remember stressful things, we delay doing things that we are not interested in or that don’t have an immediate reward. As children grow older, they take on more responsibility for their own actions. There is some gap between this stage and the stage in which they also consider the effect their actions or inaction has on other people. We need to be:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arguments can be difficult in any family and the older the children get, the more arguments seem to occur. Babies accept everything the parents do but by the time the baby becomes a toddler, arguments begin. The first argument occurs when the toddler says ‘no’ as a response to a request or a direction to come, or to do something. It is an exciting stage in your child’s development because it means that he or she can make a decision and has opinions about things and can express those opinions. The problems begin when saying no or refusing to follow directions becomes a testing of wills. The parent wants to stay in control and often needs to, because of safety, but the child is equally determined. What can one do? One can diffuse the situation with a young child by
Make a point of having family discussions about many topics on which people may have a variety of views, show that you can respect the views of others even though your values are different, discuss the consequences of actions if discipline is necessary and choose appropriate ones for the age and stage of development of the child. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Doors fascinate small children. They practise and practise until they perfect the act of turning a knob or sliding the door panel. They devise games so that they are constantly coming in and out. Parents need to come to terms with doors that bang, doors that constantly open and let in flies, cupboard doors left open that reveal untidy shelves to visitors, and doors that can allow the child to have access to dangerous goods. As soon as a toddler can climb, doors that were out of reach previously, are now attractive to the child. It is then necessary to have child-proof catches. Keys are another fascinating challenge to children. They are harder to turn than a knob but can easily be drawn out of the keyhole and disappear during a game or even worse be dropped inside the room, before the door is shut. I was reminded of all this recently when my grand daughter was playing in an outside room that can only be opened with a key. I was gardening nearby but she wanted to go in and out of the room, shutting it and opening it constantly. I became very nervous. There is only one key and what would I do if Estelle shut the key in the room? What if she found the little catch on the lock and locked herself in? I remembered Shirley Hughes’s book Alfie Gets in First. I guess it is a situation many parents have experienced. My brother locked my parents out when he was small. They initially thought it a great joke but as time ticked away, the joke disappeared. With toddlers vigilance and safety measures are vital. Children can learn quite early that there are some doors that they are not permitted to open. If you allocate a door or two they are allowed to play with, the problem might be solved. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Speech and language development Clear speech should be developing rapidly by three years and if this isn’t the case, professional help should be sought. There are several reasons for speech and language delay. Hearing is a major concern as children learn to speak by hearing speech. If the child cannot hear clearly, sounds won’t be reproduced clearly. Ear infections are a common cause of hearing loss. It is not easy to diagnose deafness in your child because a child learns very quickly how to understand what is happening by clues in the environment, e.g. facial expressions and body language of those nearby. If people outside the family cannot understand your child, have his/her hearing checked by an audiologist. Habit is another cause of poor speech. Always be a good model to your children. When your child is learning to speak, pronounce words correctly instead of copying their attempt. If you copy the child’s speech, their immature words such at dat for cat and take for cake, will persist and become habit. A three year old will have a vocabulary of almost 1000 words. If your three year old has only a very small vocabulary, or is not responding correctly to simple questions or directions, seek help. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bed time should be a pleasurable time for both children and parents. In many modern families, children don’t have a regular bedtime but are allowed to stay up until they fall asleep or until the parents are ready for bed. I can’t see that this is in the best interests of either the children or the parents. Children must get sufficient sleep, up to ten hours is necessary, and parents too need child-free time if their own relationship is to thrive. Children who develop night owl habits must wake early when they get to school age and late nights will cause them to wake grumpily. The earlier that a happy bed time routine is begun, the easier it will be to establish. My little granddaughter was put to bed after each feed with a tape of soothing music playing softly. By the time she was a few months old, she shut her eyes and snuggled down as soon as she heard the music. Cuddles and quiet games and a bedtime story are part of her ritual at three years. If you have a baby and older children too, the older ones will need your undivided attention in the evening for some quality time, so getting the baby down early is necessary. When baby is down, help with homework, play some quiet game with the kids and keep the bedtime story ritual going. Preparing clothes for the next day and preparing lunches can be part of the winding down time. This is a good time to listen to, or report on the day’s activities. When children can read to themselves, they still enjoy hearing a story read by a parent. Encourage them to read from a library book as well, before putting out the light If your bedtime ritual isn’t working try a new one and remember to consult the children about their ideas. Explain why they need a long sleep. For me there is nothing to compare with early morning and seeing the world come alive. I'm glad I'm not a night owl. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’ve been thinking about young babies over the past few days as I had photos from a friend with her newly born baby, and one from my niece who has a four month old. The photos are delightful. When I see the next photos, no doubt I’ll see a big difference in development. Babies reach new stages so quickly. The new born studies the faces within focus and listens to voices. Within a short time those familiar faces and voices are recognised and comfort him/her. At six weeks baby begins to respond to our voices with soft sounds and smiles. By four months baby watches changes in the environment and is trying to interact with it by reaching out to touch things. Hands and feet are now used with a purpose. At six months baby will be rolling over unassisted and sitting up with support. By eight or nine months, crawling is close, or maybe achieved. At twelve months baby will be standing with support and trying to walk. Instead of gurgling, baby will understand many words and be trying to say some. What a huge achievement within one year. Of course some babies may achieve these milestones faster or slower than this. The daughter of another niece of mine was standing alone and taking several steps at seven months. She didn’t bother with crawling at all! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This year some babies in Australia have died from whooping cough and many cases have been diagnosed. It is a frightening disease when it strikes, as the baby is wracked by a continuous hacking cough that affects the whole body exhausting the infant and very quickly pneumonia sets in. The disease had been almost unheard of for decades as a vaccination program was introduced in the 1950’s. Doctors and child health workers recommend that babies be vaccinated by eight weeks of age. Thousands of children world wide each year are saved from contracting the disease and other life threatening diseases such as diphtheria, measles, tetanus and polio because of vaccination programs. However, not all people are in favour of vaccination. One group in Australia, the Australian Vaccination Network, actively campaigns against immunisation claiming that the toxins in vaccinations are too great causing severe side effects such as paralysis, autism and ADHD. Many parents, afraid of the consequences, are therefore choosing not to have their children immunised. It is true that some babies have a severe reaction but there is no scientific proof that the conditions above are caused by the vaccines. There is scientific proof that immunisation works. Ultimately parents must make the decision and take the responsibility, but if large sections of the population are not protected the disease will affect more and more children and tragically, deaths will occur. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Language acquisition begins before birth. In fact the foetus reacts to sound at 16 weeks. Before birth a baby learns to differentiate between the parents voices and how the voice expresses emotions. Baby also recognizes the most important words, remembers how words are separated, and learns the rhythms and tunes of speech and music. So any baby born deaf, has already lost months of language learning opportunities. Many children are not diagnosed until four or five years of age so have lost a great deal of learning opportunities when the brain is at its highest rate of learning. The earlier the intervention, the better it will be for the child. It is important to know the signs of hearing loss. In conditions such as glue ear, loss may come and go so any loss in hearing noticed during a cold, or at other times should be investigated further. Signs of hearing loss in babies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ‘Thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ are two of the most important phrases in our society but sometimes they are hard to say or even to feel. We need to teach these words to our children when they are very young. Many adults say ‘taa’ to infants when they give or take something from babies. Some always say the whole phrase, ‘thank you.’ From nine months my youngest granddaughter said her own version of these words whenever she handed an adult something. At 15 months, she is well on the way to understanding how to use the words. By example she will also learn when to use sorry. With Christmas coming many families will exchange gifts. There are bound to be some disappointments as well as thrills and excitement. In my family it was always important that children contact relatives and friends straight away to thank them for gifts. I still carry this on and am disappointed if I don’t even hear if a gift has arrived. As children grow older, we need to remind them to keep being polite. Saying thank you isn’t always easy. I was reminded of this when I read an article recently. We occasionally need to show appreciation for help, or for gifts that we didn’t really want. Most of us have been hurt at some stage by the comments of children when our efforts to please them have been met with anger, displeasure, disappointment or rudeness. It is worse still to have reactions like this from adults, so we need to teach children how to behave graciously. Discuss with your children some appropriate ways to respond. Make a game in which the family pretends that certain difficult situations have arisen and it is up to everyone to come up with a suitable kind, polite response. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Did your child start school this year? Are you delighted with his/her progress or are you not sure what is happening? Is your child happy and enthusiastic? At most schools parents are welcome to ask questions and to visit the class to see the children in action. Throughout the year there will be several opportunities to do this so try to seize the chance. Look at how the children respond to the teacher, look at samples of the children’s work. How well does your child concentrate? Does the child seem to fit into the group confidently and happily? Does he/she complete work in the time given? Is you child sitting with children of similar skills? Can your child do the given homework easily? The first year at school, with its very different environment, is the time when some learning difficulties are picked up. One difficulty is known as APD or Auditory Processing Disorder. The causes of this are not known but children with the condition often don’t hear subtle differences in sounds especially in a noisy environment such as a classroom. They can have trouble concentrating, remembering instructions, and have problems learning letters and the phonics that will help them learn to read and spell. Of course kids’ rate of learning varies from child to child and if your child is slower at learning to recognise the letters of the alphabet or in copying words, it may not mean there is a learning difficulty. However, it is worth asking questions.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From the time they are toddlers, most kids love exploring things and places. They are not very conscious of dangers. They often learn through experience about things that are hot or sharp, but we can’t let them learn through experience about traffic, seatbelts, drowning, electrocution, fierce dogs, stranger danger and other life threatening objects or activities. Kids need to be reminded continually to act responsibly in places where there is danger. There is no need to take away their natural curiosity but you need to teach them how to do things so they will stay safe. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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