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March Issue 2010
Welcome to this issue of my free parenting
E-zine in which I bring you small snapshots of the joys and problems of
raising children.
SPECIALS
FEATURES
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SPECIALS
- Stepping
out of the comfort zone
For most people there are situations
and tasks that they really dislike. Often these situations must be faced
whether we like it or not. It may be facing up to an unfair situation at
work, returning damaged goods to a shop, complaining to your child’s
teacher, or just attending a meeting or joining a group where you don’t
feel comfortable. In these situations we feel anxious, stressed and perhaps
even fearful. Children also get anxious and need help in overcoming their
fears.
Anxiety usually begins when an
infant is about 7 to 8 months old. Quite suddenly the baby who smiled and
went happily to everyone, clings to mum or dad and cries at strangers. This
is a very necessary development as babies need to develop trust, and trust
must be demonstrated to them. With your help baby, will develop to
confidence. Here are some helpful tips
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Socialise baby from birth by
going shopping and visiting.
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Hold baby while he/she gets to
know the stranger, from the safety of your lap.
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Attend playgroups so baby meets
other babies and sees older children.
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Make sure that other babies
cannot pull at or hurt your baby.
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Talk to baby when you go into
another room so that he/she knows you haven’t disappeared for good.
Toddlers often have
irrational fears such as fear of the dark, falling down the plughole,
disappearing down the toilet, being eaten by creepy-crawlies.
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Never tease or force your child
to face scary situations.
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Help your toddler develop
confidence by talking, reading or telling non scary stories about the
situation.
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Use appropriate aids such as
small toilet seats.
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Lift the toddler from the bath
before pulling the plug.
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Provide a night light
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If you need to leave your child
at child care, introduce the centre gradually by staying with him/her
the first time and by leaving him only a very short time.
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Give him something of yours to
mind until you come back.
Older children may be anxious
about something at school. Symptoms may be crying, not wanting to go to
school, stomach aches, complaining about friends. Some of the common fears
kids have are of
Talk to the child and the teacher. Perhaps your child
feels responsible for an argument at home or the breakup of a friendship.
Build the child’s confidence and encourage stepping out of the comfort zone
a little at a time. Suggest relaxing activities when your child seems tense.
Look at your child’s strengths and concentrate on those rather than the
mistakes or weaknesses. Give the child many opportunities to achieve
success. Never set the child up to fail. Comparing children’s achievements
doesn’t build confidence.
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FEATURES
Ages and Stages-Making
friends
Friends are important throughout our
lives but are especially important when children start school. Without
friends your child won’t be happy. How successful your child is at making
friends will depend on a number of social skills. Michael Grose, an
Australian parenting expert,
www.parentingideas.com.au says parents can help their children develop
the required social skills.
Your school age child needs to
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smile and look friendly
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know how to join a group
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be able to hold a conversation
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have good manners (asking,
please and thankyou)
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share possessions
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be a good loser
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make up after a disagreement.
How good is your child at these
skills and how can you improve them? It is never too early to begin
socialising. As soon as a baby can make sounds, they will take turns with
you when you talk. This is the basis of conversation and a first step in
making friends.
Children in larger families have an
advantage over only children in developing social skills but if your child
attends a pre-school or often plays with other children they will have
plenty of experience. I interact with children each week at a variety of
child care centres and while most of the children are keen to talk to me,
there are some who shrug their shoulders when asked a question and never
hold a conversation with me. They don’t want to take turns in the
activities. They sit without smiling when the rest of the group is actively
involved. Teachers will help these children to gain confidence in very small
groups first and to interact with their peers in simple tasks such as giving
out fruit and musical instruments and by insisting on good manners such as
saying please and thank you. At home they also need practise. Shrugging
doesn’t start a conversation but parents can help their child to
recall what has happened in the day, and speak about it. Encourage your
child to relate events to the other parent. Sometimes a wildly silly tale by
one parent will prompt the child to tell what really happened.
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Kids 'n Gardening-Kids
Growing Coloured Lettuce
March is the ideal time to grow
lettuce. As the days become cooler it will not be so inclined to bolt into
seed. Lettuce seed usually germinates quite quickly so it is a good plant
for kids to grow as they won’t lose interest before the plants show up. It
also transplants readily so buying the seedlings may be preferred.
For added interest, why not
encourage the children to grow several varieties of lettuce. There are: -
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Leaf Lettuce varieties.
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Romaine or Cos lettuce.
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Butterhead lettuce
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Crisphead lettuce.
·
The leaf lettuce comes in various reds and
greens that look very attractive grown next to each other. Ruby and New Red
Fire are two leaf lettuce varieties that are coloured. Children will enjoy
making little plant markers to indicate which seed they planted where. The
best thing about leaf lettuce is that it can be picked sooner than lettuce
that grows into a head.
Lettuce seeds can be started in a
small pot and planted out when large enough to handle. To save root damage
during transplanting, try one of those newspaper pots that you can
make yourself.
When planting, follow the
instructions on the packet. Romaine and Butterhead lettuce take up less
space than other kinds of heading lettuce, while the leaf lettuce can be
grown in an even smaller spot. Lettuce can also grow in semi-shade, unlike
most other vegetables.
Never water lettuce plants while the
sun is hot as that will burn the leaves. Watering them in the late afternoon
is best. Lettuce needs plenty of water and will be improved by an
application of soluble fertiliser every so often. Snails love lettuce, so
make sure they are protected from such pests.
Copyright Bev Boorer 2010
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Kids
in the news -Violence
There has recently been a sad case
in which a twelve year old boy was fatally stabbed by a thirteen year old
while at school. It has sparked many discussions about violence. Recent
studies have shown that schools have to deal regularly with cases of
violence. In Victoria a study of 4,000 kids over two years showed higher
rates of violence there, than in Washington, US. A different study of year 8
and 9 students in Australia, showed links between parents who condoned
violence, and who engaged in a punitive style of parenting, and the
behaviour of their kids at school. Many acts of violence begin with
bullying. Bullying persists despite the mandatory anti-bullying programs in
schools. Physical bullying is most common between boys, while girls engage in
emotional bullying and cyber bullying is increasing at an alarming rate. (
Sydney Morning Herald 17/2/10)
It is necessary to talk to your
children about violent events in the community and the world, so that you can discuss ways of solving
conflict in acceptable ways. Talking through such events is also necessary
to help children feel safe in their school and home environments. Not only
was there the school violence reported above, but soon after, a case in
which an eight year old was abducted from her home and murdered early in the
morning. The community is one known for its safety. Fear builds until the
guilty person is found.
It is difficult to get the balance
right between stressing safety aspects and making our children fearful;
between supervising their activities and giving them independence; between
caution and over-protection; between making your home secure and turning it
into a fortress. We need to be always vigilant and begin talking about all
aspects of life with our children from an early age.
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Healthy Living –Walking
When a baby takes his/her first
steps, it generates pride and excitement in the whole family. Let’s not lose
that joy as children grow, as walking is one of the best and healthiest
activities for people of all ages.
Instead of jumping into the car to
go places, instead of teaching the kids that they can be driven everywhere,
encourage walking every day. Look at where you can walk to in your
community. You and the kids will be fitter if you walk them to school.
Younger children need an adult to accompany them until you are confident
that they know the safety rules. Older kids will enjoy walking with their
friends instead of going with family, and if they are safety conscious this
is a good idea. However, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on walking.
See how many car trips you can replace by walking. Some planning may be
necessary such as getting up early enough to walk to work, walking several
blocks to the shops instead of using the closest parking lot, park in a
central spot and walk to all the shops instead of moving the car from one
location to another.
Encourage family walks.
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Walk around the block after the
evening meal
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explore the area by walking
around different streets
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keep the kids interested by
making walking a game e.g. mapping, learning street names, recording
number of animals seen, number of bikes
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take a bag and collect rubbish
as you walk
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look for specific flowers or
trees and collect leaves or seeds
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take seasonal photos
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time the distance you walk and
improve on that time over several days
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make up stories as you walk or
sing songs. Praise the children for their walking. Make walking a happy
habit for everyone in the family.
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Book Review -Queenie the Bantam
by Bob Graham
Published by Walker books 2008
ISBN978 1 4063 1648 3
This is a delightful story about an
adventurous bantam rescued from a lake. After taking the bantam, Queenie,
home to dry and feed, Mum, Dad and Caitlin, successfully search for her real
home. Queenie, however, returns to lay an egg each day for Caitlin. This is
a story about sharing and giving, and babies and changes. The illustrations
are delightful - Mum thinking in the bath, Dad knitting, Queenie pecking
seeds on newspaper by the fire, Bruno sharing his basket and taking on a new
and surprising role. The pictures are simple at first glance but tell us
many details about the lives of the family. This is a book to treasure.
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Play ideas
– Messy play
Parents see paint, mud, water, even
food, in a different way from their children. A baby given a piece of toast
will make a real mess, smearing it all over face, hands, clothes and the
high chair. We expect this, but by the time that baby has grown into a
pre-schooler, the same behaviour isn’t acceptable. Pre-schoolers still like
to explore things through the hands and we should provide them with the
chance to get messy. Not everyone can have a sand pit in their home but
there are other things right in your kitchen that can be great fun. Put a
plastic sheet or some newspaper on the floor so the area will be easy to
clean up, or give the child a table that is an appropriate height.
Lentils and dry pasta
Let your child empty a packet of
lentils or dry pasta into a baking dish or a bowl. Encourage him/her to let
them flow through his/her fingers. Children love to pour lentils and pasta
from one container to another. They make a good sound in plastic and in
metal containers. Small toys like cars or plastic animals are fun to play
with at the same time.
Goop
Empty a packet of cornflour into a
bowl or a flat container like a cat litter tray. Let your child pour a jug
full of water over it then mix it with the hands. It feels silky and drips
off the fingers in a fascinating way.
Cooked potatoes
Boil potatoes, cool them, and cut
into quarters. Put them in a bowl and give your child a small jug of milk or
water to add, and the masher. The mashed potatoes can be part of your
child’s lunch.
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Click here to contact Helen
if you would like to make suggestions or have comments to make.
Copyright 2009
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Helen's books, Everyday learning about
storytelling and Simply Storytelling,
will help you to tell stories to your children. For Everyday learning, go to
www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au and look at the catalogue
For Simply Storytelling (ISBN 9780864588104 published
by Tertiary Press) go to
www.pearsoned.com.au/VetDirect
put the title in the keyword search and click.
Three of Helen's picture books are available as downloads or CD's from
Writer's Exchange at Reader's Eden. Children from 3 to 10 will love them.
Here is the link: http://tinyurl.com/2hm2db
This will take
you to my author's page.
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