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HELP 4 EVERY PARENT www.help4everyparent.com |
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On this page you will find some of the articles from my past e-zines. Click on the headings on the side, to go to the article. New experiences can be very exciting and almost everything is new to the toddler. As children grow they anticipate certain events with mounting excitement. For adults, children’s excitement can sometimes be a trial, depending on how children react. Some shout or scream, laugh and run about and do silly things. Some have trouble going to sleep. Some get sick when chemicals in the body build up causing vomiting and fever. Fortunately not many children seem to react that way. It is natural for children to get excited but necessary for them to calm down. They will need help in staying calm in certain situations and in returning to calm behaviour again after some events. Parents and child carers soon know what triggers extreme excitement in their child or group of children. Here are some common triggers:
Here are some strategies to help control excitement.
To calm the child down again acknowledge the excitement but tell the child it is time to calm down now. Here are some calming activities:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adults often feel guilty about getting angry especially if they are angry with the children in their care. It is particularly important that we keep our anger under control when in the company of children. Shouting, hitting and shutting children away, will certainly give them the wrong message. Here are some hints:
Anger is a common emotion in children too and adults should acknowledge it and help children to keep it under control. Common causes of anger are:
Babies, toddlers and pre-school children will express their anger by crying, hitting, pulling hair, scratching and biting. The best approach is to prevent the situation occurring. Remember that a baby doesn’t know that pulling hair and biting hurts or is wrong. Never bite or hit a baby. Here are some hints:
Children who become angry usually give some signal first. Learn to recognise the signals. Perhaps it is throwing toys around or shouting or snatching. It may be not wanting to take turns. Some children mutter or look grumpy. When an incident occurs, think back later to when the behaviour started and see if you can work out what the warning signals were. As children grow it is important to acknowledge their feelings of anger. Tell them you know they feel angry. Give the child some strategies to use instead of physically hurting someone.
Give children turns at explaining what has happened, and encourage them to problem solve. They are often very good at this. Ask them to predict what the results for each of their solutions would be and to choose the best one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ At each stage of development baby will have frustrations. A baby learning to roll over will roll then cry because he/she can’t roll back or hold up the head for many minutes. A baby learning to sit will want to reach out for toys but will probably overbalance after a few minutes. A baby wanting to crawl faces a frustrating time before being mobile enough to explore the room. When learning to climb and walk, baby will face similar frustrations. Your baby will be happiest if you can minimise frustration. There are often simple solutions. Prevent boredom: Even new born babies can get bored. They need something to look at. At first black and white patterns then simple face drawings and later colourful mobiles that move will help to entertain baby.
Choose appropriate toys: Toddlers need toys that are appropriate for their level of skill.
Pre-school children want to be independent. Give them:
There are many ways you can help your children to avoid frustration at each stage of development. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Acceptance by peers is generally very important to most children. I tried to fit in with my peers but children often laughed at me or told me I was different. “Why do you talk funny?” was a regular question that I was unable to answer. I couldn’t hear that my speech was different from anyone else’s and I tried to speak like the other kids. At home my Mother complained of my speech too. She said that I was developing a broad Australian accent, and I lisped. Sometimes I’d be sent to practice in front of a mirror. My practice consisted of saying, “How now brown cow? and “sixty six thick thistle stick,.” over and over. No one tells me now that I “speak funny,” but differences are still often not accepted in our world. These days our population is multicultural and many different accents can be heard in streets and classrooms around the nation. Differences in dress and customs have been highlighted in the last four years and sadly intolerance is growing in many communities. In the worst cases there have been riots generating real fear. Perhaps as a result, plans to accept refugees from camps in Africa, to settle in some of our towns, have been rejected during community meetings because people feel the refugees will be too different and will not fit in. Teaching tolerance and acceptance of differences is part of pre-school policy in Australia, but discrimination will persist in our communities unless every family takes an active role in helping children to accept others and to find strength in their own differences. Here are some things you can do.
We may not agree with the beliefs or customs of some people but if we listen we will understand better, and be more tolerant of others. We are all human beings. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When our children are small we expect to be in control. We decide what they will eat and when, we determine bedtime, and even what clothes they will wear. As they grow older we still feel the need to control most of their lives. We permit them to watch certain TV programs, we choose their schools, we restrict their movements and say whether or not they may have a pet. Adults have a lot of power. Even before the age of two, children want to change that. They want to be in control. They want to make choices and in order to avoid frustration and unpleasant behaviour, adults need to share power with their children. The child will be satisfied with small concessions so look for areas where you can allow your child to make choices. My grand daughter is 22 months old now. She discovered the power of the word NO some time ago. She uses it quite a lot to tell others what they can’t have and to tell us she doesn’t want to do something. She also understands about taking turns but mostly wants it to be her turn. Giving her a choice works well. “If you want vegemite you must sit down, Estelle. Sit on the floor or in your chair.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In many cultures spring is recognized as a time to clean the house, the garden the school, in fact clean up everything. It is a good time to throw out clutter and prepare for a new beginning. It helps to get underway if you know that many other people are re-organizing their home and work spaces too. For some people finding where to start is the biggest problem of all. Here are some hints:
When spring is in the air I find chores are easier to do. For every job you do reward yourself with an equal time spent in pleasure and remember to get the children involved in spring cleaning too. Happy spring time everyone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A genius is a person with exceptional intellectual talent. Although most of us will know someone who is very bright, not many of us will ever personally know someone who is classed as a genius. One young Australian mathematics genius was recently awarded the Field Medal, the highest mathematics award in the world. His name is Terry Tao. Now 30 years old, Terry was a child genius. Terry was reading at two, completed primary school maths before he was five, started senior high school maths and physics before he was eight by nine and a half he was attending university as well as primary school. Terry was very fortunate to have parents who nurtured his talents while seeing that his social development was not neglected. How do parents cope with gifted children? Terry was lucky that his parents were able to present him with the intellectual challenges that his mind needed at home, so that he was not bored. He was lucky that his school was flexible. He was in different classes for different levels of subjects. He was lucky that the people around him accepted him for himself and didn’t pressure him. By mixing with his peers, he gained the social skills necessary for his age group so that he grew up to be a well rounded person. Many of our schools are not as flexible as the one Terry attended. Children in rural areas rarely have the opportunity to attend a school for the gifted and talented. Few schools allow a child to be accelerated in one or more subjects. It is left to the class teacher to challenge bright children within the classroom where there is a mixture of abilities. It is really up to parents to look around for the best school for their child’s needs. This may mean not all children in the family will go to the same school. It also means spending time helping your child with their special ability whether it is academic, sport, or a creative arts talent. If you cannot help sufficiently, find someone who can. And remember to look at the whole child. Foster the physical, social, emotional and communication skills too. Your child may not be a genius but every child deserves the very best. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ As four year olds approach their fifth birthday, they are usually full of confidence and soak up information like sponges. Boys in particular are often so busy telling things to their peers that listening to adults is a low priority pastime unless the situation is new and challenging. I remember trying to tell my son things when he was four. He would immediately say, ‘I know’, even if he didn’t know the relevant facts at all. Children of this age are noisy, social beings who find it difficult to sit still or to follow instructions. This behaviour is challenging for adults. Children want to be in control but may get into difficulties if they haven’t listened to instructions carefully first. Play some listening games in which the child is give three instructions to carry out. When the child can do this exercise, try some of the following activities to extend bright children's interests and knowledge.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There has recently been a fatal dog attack on a young child. Dogs are commonly known as man’s best friend so how do these tragedies happen? The dogs in this case were hunting dogs used I think, to hunt for pigs in the bush. They were not running free but somehow the child got into their enclosure when no one was home and the dogs attacked. Dog attacks on children happen all too often and injuries are sometimes severe. I feel strongly that there is no place in our society for vicious dogs. My grandchildren witnessed the death of their beloved and docile dog when a neighbour’s Pit Bull terrier jumped the fence and attacked her in front of them. It could have been worse. The children could have been injured too. The incident left the family traumatised for months. The neighbour involved was very unpleasant about the matter and was not required by council or police to get rid of his dogs although better restrain measures were imposed. In Australia there are four million dogs. Most dogs are such appealing creatures and are pets in so many families that we often don’t teach children the dangers. Here are some things children should know:
Be a responsible dog owner:
A dog truly can be a best friend but that depends on us. How friendly are the dogs in your community? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summer is approaching in Australian and our children will spend much more of their play time outside. At the child care centres I attend, children are once again being made aware of sunscreen and why we need to wear it. After telling stories about spring, I talked to the children about bees and bee stings. Few children get stung by bees but at the moment flowering trees are crowded with bees. Young children especially, need to know that bees are dangerous. Many insects sting or bite and can cause pain or allergic reactions. Children with bare feet are at risk of stepping on insects, glass, sharp objects, prickles or other nasty surprises. Every week in my state, approximately 1,300 children will be treated in a hospital emergency department . Are you prepared to deal with injuries at home or away? Here are some helpful ideas for you.
Here are some things children can do in an emergency:
All children have an important role to play in helping their friends as often only children are present when an accident happens. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyone with children at school knows that technology is a big part of learning in the modern world. I was interested to read that in Australia one in four children between seven and fourteen have created their own webpage and half the 13 to 14 year olds have done this. Over ninety percent of children use computers for games and/or information. My teenage grandchildren use computers continually to communicate with their friends, although they see them at school every day. Socially, computers and mobile phones have taken over our kid’s lives. Even in pre-schools now there are often computers in the playroom for children to access pre-reading and other learning programs. Regular readers of this e-zine will have seen the link to my e-books for children aged from 3 to 8. Writers’ Exchange has just announced that until Christmas, prices of all their books will be halved. This means they are well below the price of print books of similar type. There are some excellent picture books in the range and by buying some, you can demonstrate to your family that you are right up there with the computer generation. Go to www.writers-exchange.com and take a look. There are 93 books for children under 5 years of age and 15 for those between 6 and 10. The titles are listed alphabetically but you can also look at the list of authors or illustrators and go direct to their books. Some of the picture book authors I know are Aileen McLeod, Peter Taylor, Raelene Hall, Janette Brazel, Gail Breese, and Pauline Young. Give it a go. Reading picture books on a computer is great fun for the very young. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Significantly high levels of lead have just been found in soil near children’s play areas in western Queensland. Of the children tested, one in ten had levels of lead in the blood that caused concern. While this does not mean that the children have lead poisoning, it means that action must be taken. A town in Western Australia has established a lead testing clinic following the death of over 4000 birds, thought to have died from lead poisoning. Contamination of several water tanks may have come from the port where lead carbonate shipments are made. This is a real health scare. What harm can lead do? Lead can interfere with brain development, decrease IQ level, cause attention deficit, tiredness, stomach ache, diarrhoea and behaviour problems. Where does lead contamination come from?
How do we know if a child is at risk? Children between one and six years of age are most at risk because they put things in their mouths. A finger prick blood test will show the level of lead in the blood. What precautions can we take?
Foods that will help remove lead from a child’s body are:
Foods that keep lead in the body are:
Lead cannot be seen tasted or smelt but it’s effects may be life long. We should see to it that authorities in our communities test sites regularly for lead contamination, particularly places where children play. We should take responsibility ourselves for checking our homes for lead sources and have our children tested each year. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ready, set, go. After months of preparation the big day arrives and our confident pre-schooler is dressed and delivered to the school where suddenly the child looks small and vulnerable. There is no doubt that starting school is a big step in a child’s life. Excitement builds after Christmas when friends and relatives talk about it often, and shops have their back to school displays. Most five year olds will cope beautifully with the transition from pre-school to the more formal routines of school. To make life easier for everyone if your child can recognise his or her name as many items of clothing will be the same. Have all articles of clothing marked clearly with your child’s name. Here are some more hints:
Starting secondary school is often stressful also. Friends from primary years may be separated, the school routine is different, and teacher expectations and teacher/student relationships are less personal. Kids of this age are often bottomless pits at home, but may refuse to take any food to school. Canteen food will be available, but do you know the menus your pre-teenager can choose from? From the beginning of this year, canteens drinks must meet a new standard. Any sweetened drink that contains more than 300kjs. per serve or 100 mgs. per serve of sodium, will be banned. This is a step in the right direction and is part of the government campaign to prevent obesity. Follow up with a similar strategy at home. School is a learning experience for parents as well as kids. May it be a positive experience for everyone in your family this year. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A smile is one of the very best things that can happen in life. What a thrill parents get from baby’s first gummy smile. In a few months the smile is changed as the first teeth pop through -another exciting milestone. Teeth are one of our most important features. Without them we cannot eat hard foods and our smile is spoilt. We can compensate and smile with mouth closed, and adults who lose a tooth in an accident often do this. For some time after the accident an adult will feel very sensitive about that space in the front of their mouth . When we listen to someone talking, we focus on the eyes or the mouth. A missing tooth or bad teeth are always noticed. To see bands on teeth shows that dental care is of major importance in that family. To see a child with bad teeth makes me sad. Why does a child have bad teeth? The main reason is diet. The wrong kinds of food have been consumed too often and dental help has not been available. Every child up to the age of five or six, should have pearly white teeth, not black and rotten ones. Dental work is expensive, very expensive and it isn’t easy to get a dental appointment. Decayed teeth not only look bad, they can result in health problems so there is no doubt that prevention is far better than cure. My children had no cavities in their teeth during their childhood. As adults their teeth are still in excellent order. It wasn’t good luck it was good food and good mouth hygiene. Many towns add fluoride to the water supply and this has had a big effect on the strength of teeth. Fluoride was not in the water in the early years of my children’s lives but I took fluoride before their birth as suggested by my dentist. My dentist said that as well as supervising tooth cleaning from a very early age, I should clean the children’s teeth for them. I continued to do this until the second teeth were through. In this way, they learnt how to clean the teeth properly. Some people think that first teeth don’t matter. They do. They need to be intact to keep the right spaces for teeth growing under the gums. Your child needs good teeth to eat the right foods and to develop a confident personality. Here are some hints for you:
Start a lifelong good dental practice with your children today. They’ll be so glad you did in the years to come. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Australia our politicians have talked a lot about values in the last year. They are concerned that society’s values are not what they used to be and they want to reverse this. Many of them want schools to teach Australian values but coming up with values that apply to everyone in our diverse society is difficult. Individuals have their own sets of values and will probably change or adapt these throughout life. How do we come up with them? We read, listen, watch and think. Our kids do the same and will model their behaviour and their ideas on those they admire. Unfortunately, many of the public figures kids are encouraged to admire are not appropriate role models. Sporting heroes, pop stars, and celebrities may or may not set good examples for the young. Even our elected politicians may not hold or value the same things as we do as individuals. With young children we show by example that we are:
For older children, we hopefully demonstrate as well
Teenagers, have many different people and activities influencing their thoughts and actions. Some teens revolt against the values they know their parents and other people in authority hold. Forbidding certain activities or friendships, and criticising stereotyped teen behaviour doesn't usually work. Discussion gets people thinking. For example consider good sportsmanship. Some tennis stars throw their racquets, and swear at the umpires. Others challenge a decision according to the rules, and control their temper. What kind of sports person do you admire? Do the children in the family admire the same people? Discuss the different models you see on your TV or at your local sports complex. Several players may excel in ability but do they all follow appropriate behaviour all of the time? It isn't easy to come up with a list of values. I wonder how the politicians are deciding on what they want us all to adopt? Children could be given the opportunity to submit a list of their values. Our society values children so why not their ideas? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Climate change We might want to protect our kids from worry but they do take worries on board. They worry most that something will happen to their parents or their family, but other things form significant worries too. In surveys about these worries, more children were worried about climate change than about terrorism. The environment has long been a school study topic and global warming has joined it to become an important part of the study. In the last few weeks we have seen pictures of drought, fire, floods and the havoc brought by freak storms. Climate change is on almost every news bulletin and with elections looming, the politicians see the need to put forward policies to attack climate change. Our life style has seen a big increase of carbon emissions in the last ten years. This is bad and we must do something about it now. What bad things might happen?
Organisations suggest that every person can do something to reduce the carbon emissions into the atmosphere. Here are some things every family can do:
Kids loved the new film, Happy Feet. Nothing is more appealing than penguins and even five year olds know that penguins live in the ice and snow of Antarctica and that if the ice there melts, there will be real trouble. We don't want our grandchildren to miss out on seeing penguins. We don't want our world to become too hot for comfort. If you don’t know much about climate change, ask some primary school children to fill you in. Make your family proud to be clean and green. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I recently heard about Bendigo, a place in Australia that aims to be a truly child friendly city. Through ongoing consultation in the community with both adults and children, the aim is to provide services, education and an environment that will support children and their families in a very effective way. Children will be part of the decision making process, not when they are in the senior classes of school, but from pre-school age. Every community provides some child services but Bendigo wants the whole community to be consulted. Ms. Karen Malone, a former Asia/Pacific Director of UNESCO, is helping with the process. Not only that, but even very young children have answered questions, drawn pictures and taken photos on supplied disposable cameras of the things they value. A survey found that children value family, friends play, and sometimes shopping, and that their lives revolve around home, the back yard, the car, and school. This is natural, but by making spaces and places more friendly, it is hoped that other areas will become significant also. For example, in time past, kids could play on nature strips; they could walk to the local shops alone and walk or ride to visit friends. Can children do this safely in our cities today? Yes, if we set our minds to it. We can take the fear away by
In Tokyo, a bigger city than any we have in Australia, children as young as four, travel alone on public transport to their child care centres. This is possible because adults have assumed responsibility to help these children. Children and their parents feel safe there. If it can be done in Tokyo, surely it can be done in other cities and in our smaller cities and rural towns. While the the group in Bendigo program has developed a pilot program, a further survey of a several hundred more children is about to begin. The program will be ongoing because communities change, children change and what is wanted this year may not be appropriate next year. It sounds exciting. I for one am keen to hear what happens and how other communities can adopt the ideas. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Families and long working hours Recent studies show that there is a definite link between hours parents work and family breakdown. Parents are struggling to cope with longer and longer hours at work or shift work, and kids suffer as a result. People often say that it isn’t quantity of time that is important, but quality. But if the amount of time a family can spend together gets shorter and shorter, there is no quality time left. Many people in Australia are working 50 hours or more a week on a regular basis. Why are working hours getting longer? This can be because:
The biggest factor is financial pressure especially commitments like buying a house. In many families now there are no free weekends for the family to relax and do family focused activities. Both men and women come home tired and stressed and this is not good for family relationships. Shops, especially the big companies expect to be open seven days a week and this means employees have to work seven days. Opening hours are often from 8am to 10 pm. It is true that people like to have these flexible hours to shop but although workers have the right to request more flexible work hours, employers are only required to consider the requests, not comply. In part time work, an option many mothers need, hours may not have increased but the amount of work that has to be fitted into those hours, has increased, and this affects levels of stress. Parents under stress relate to their children in more negative ways. Stress affects relationships between partners also. It is the whole family that suffers. Three or four weeks holiday a year is not sufficient time for families to spend together. Regular time is necessary. Time to relax, to be with the children, to be with your partner. The solutions are complex. They need to be dealt with by government, employers, employees, and individual families. Recognising the problems are the first step. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hearing is one of our most important senses. If you do not hear clearly you will know how frustrating it can be to catch only part of a sentence. It is also frustrating for the speaker to be requested to repeat what they have said. Sometimes the speaker blames the listener for not paying attention. People with severe hearing difficulties can be aided with hearing aids or cochlear ear implants. These marvellous inventions now allow children once forced to live in a world of silence to hear voices. But is it only children with severe hearing problems we should be concerned about? I recently heard Carol Flexer, an audio specialist from Ohio, speaking on radio about the importance of hearing environments. When a baby is born, hearing is already fully developed and the baby has been hearing speech and sounds from the environment for 20 weeks. The close connection between ears and brain mean that what we hear must be processed by the brain before it can be understood. If words and sounds are not heard clearly, the brain will give wrong or incomplete information. Background noise can interfere with our ability to hear effectively. The most important learning environments for children are the home and the classroom. How good is the hearing environment where your children learn? Is there a lot of background noise in the childcare centre or a primary school where your child spends most of the day? If there is, your child is not in the optimum hearing environment. Studies have found that behaviour, focus, time spent on tasks and literacy all improve when children can hear clearly in classroom. In the US, some schools now use special sound distributing systems so that wherever the teacher is in the room, and wherever the children are, all can hear equally well. One may think that using a microphone would make the classroom noisier but in fact it makes it quieter as children don’t have to talk so much in order to understand instructions. I imagine that not many Australian schools will follow this example but there must be ways we can quieten our hearing environments. Here are some suggestions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Discipline can take many forms. It doesn’t have to be horrible for either adult of child, but most people agree that discipline must be consistent. That sounds easy or at least reasonable, but in practise it isn’t so easy. Many things intervene so that parents are often inconsistent. If we are feeling tired or stressed, our child’s behaviour may really freak us out, whereas another day, the same behaviour may not worry us at all. If visitors are present, we may want some behaviour we normally tolerate, modified. The most common forms of discipline are:
Children’s misbehaviour may be minor or major. Refusing to pick up clothes in their room may be a minor offence one day but if the sale of the house depends on tidiness and the rooms are in a mess, refusal to make an effort at tidiness becomes a major concern with discipline following. Playing loud music may not worry you unless you are trying to make a phone call in the same room. Using Dad’s computer may be okay but he may not want all your child’s friends to use it. It is important to make the punishment fit the crime. A minor misdemeanour does not need a major punishment. Parents who are constantly stopping their children from doing things, often have poorly behaved children. Children need to be busy and occupied constructively. If they have interesting, age appropriate toys and activities available, they are less likely do unacceptable things. Make rules for home, that are not too restrictive. Here are some tips:
A child who is not guided with discipline doesn’t learn to discipline himself/herself. In each community you will meet people who have conflicting ideas about the best ways to discipline kids. There are excellent books available in shops and in libraries and the matter is dealt with by parenting newsletters, many online. A good Australian one is Michael Grose’s Parenting Ideas. Here is a link to it. www.parentingideas.com.au --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Presently there is a lot of discussion in Australia about whether children should be smacked as part of discipline. The government has reportedly decided to spend $2.5 million on an advertising campaign to stop people using smacking, and may pass legislation to make smacking unlawful. More than 2000 people voted in a TV poll in one day on whether to smack or not smack. The result was that 92% of that group, said that smacking was sometimes necessary while only 8% said it was never acceptable. Many people feel that discipline is a personal choice, not a governmental responsibility. No one likes to be the recipient of physical punishment and in this latest discussion, some children have given their views. Some say they only get smacked when they know they deserve it; some say smacking works; others say it has no effect and they still do bad things, knowing they’ll be spanked. Some say physical punishment makes them hate their parents. Looking into the past, we know that caning kids at school didn’t prevent bad behaviour. Now that caning is illegal, teachers doubt that bad behaviour has become more common. Only a small percentage of kids are unruly. A hundred years ago, I think that most parents smacked their kids and caning was an acceptable part of school life. Today, most parents try to use other methods of discipline. We tend to bring up our kids as we were brought up. We hear from many sources that if we use aggression to settle disputes, we are teaching that aggression is okay. Unfortunately many governments in the world turn to aggression to solve problems and war is not a quick way, or even a certain way, to solve the woes of the world. Let’s help our parents to show children there doesn’t have to be war in the home. Help them to learn other ways to discipline. No one likes to be hit. I didn’t see Super Nanny hitting anyone and it was a very popular program. Parents are willing to learn. ______________________________________________________________________ We all blame others when things go wrong and politicians are amongst the worst. The Government and the Opposition, blame each other and in the corporate world, the head of a department is expected to take the blame because he or she didn’t know what was going on. Education is a problem area when it comes to blame. Employers blame the schools when it comes to any shortfall in young employees, parents blame teachers, teachers blame parents, and everyone blames the government for lack of funds, lack of foresight, and general slackness. To solve these problems and avoid the blame game, it would help the education system if all parties engaged in better listening and acknowledged problems exist. People who are busy blaming others don’t make positive contributions to problem solving. More money, more consultation, and more compromise would also help. After all, education is the basis for the growth of our society. No one likes being blamed and this is especially true when you are not guilty. I recently read a book for 7-9 year olds called Mandy Made Me Do It by Jan Weeks (Blake Education 2004) in which a younger child blamed his big sister for all his outrageous mistakes. Unfortunately blaming others is common in families, especially in sibling quarrels and parents often don’t discover who the real culprit is. Most likely both children are at fault and need help to solve the argument without shouting, hitting or grabbing. Helping children to think of different ways to solve problems can be done during play, before a situation gets out of hand. Discussion after can help children see what they could do next time. If our kids can learn to look for solutions rather than to lay blame, they will have learnt a great skill. ________________________________________________________________________ It is that time of year again. The shops are cleared of Christmas things and Back to School paraphernalia has pride of place. Like Christmas, it is an expensive time for families. Children have shot up in height, their feet seem to have grown two sizes bigger, and last year’s school bag has a stale smell about it or is so out of fashion that no child can be expected to tote it to school. Parents will sigh and frown every time they fork out more dollars but they accept that school gear must be bought. Buying the cheapest gear is not always the best choice. The comfort of shoes, the weight of the bag and the amount of space in it, are more important considerations than price. The beginning of the school year is an established routine for those who will return to a familiar school but for many others there will be changes, or the exciting prospect of the first year of education. Parents will have made the choice of schools before this stage, unless unexpected changes have occurred and the family is re-locating. Children who have attended pre-school, will be familiar with playing in a group and following routines in the bathroom, at lunch time and at other group times. Some of their friends from pre-school will probably be starting at big school too. This gives children confidence. Building confidence and a positive attitude to school is important and will be easier if the stress of the new experience is kept to a minimum. Plan a no-stress beginning to the day. This will help the whole family to get to work and school on time and in a happy frame of mind. If the child walks, goes on a bus or in the family car, be sure to have some practise runs so that you know what time everyone will need to leave home in order to avoid a rush. Do jobs the night before
Plan strategies Talk to your child about what to do in unexpected situations. Kids loose their lunch money, get bullied, fall over, feel sick, and get lonely despite the crowd. At school kids from many different backgrounds are lumped together in classes. At home every child is treated as an individual, and your child may not like doing the same thing at the same time as everyone in the class at school. Following directions at the right time is really important there. Discussions or explanations about why children will need to obey rules will prepare your child to fit into the classroom situation. The end of the school day can be stressful particularly for children who have to travel by bus. Teachers help new children to catch the correct bus and supervise until the bus drives away. The driver has strict rules but must give most attention to the traffic, not to what is happening between children. Try to arrange support on the bus for your child with an older, reliable child. A parent or familiar adult should be waiting at the bus stop to collect the child. It is after school when children are tired and traffic is heavy that accidents happen. However well prepared your child is, starting school will be a big challenge. Keep in touch with what is happening and remember that teachers want and need your support to help your child thrive at school. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- During the summer holidays we see lots of pictures in the newspapers and on TV of kids at play. My sons used to look forward to tennis camps and my daughter to ballet camp when they were children. Now there is an even greater range of camps available. My local paper shows kids who have been at a summer camp for clowning skills. It is amazing how much the children have learnt in two weeks. They have achieved enough to allow them to keep practising at home. I know there have also been workshops for art and crafts, science, cricket, football and tennis. It is great for kids to have these opportunities to follow their interests at reasonable prices. The success of these workshops mean that some activities will continue during the year or be offered as workshops in the next holidays. A big thank you is due to all those adults who have organised the activities. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ There is no mistake in my mind that every child has unique abilities. People talk of kids with disabilities but given a chance these children can thrive in mainstream educational facilities and even help their peers and teachers to gain understanding and new skills. During the month I’ve been reading about some of these kids and the amazing way they cope with the world. A five year old child in Victoria began mainstream school in February although he has lost both his eyes to a rare disease called Retinoblastoma. He needs a Braille writer in his backpack, and a guide dog, plus a cane to enable him to participate in lessons with his peers. His Mother worries about whether sending him to a mainstream school is the right thing to do, but the child is brimming with confidence. A marvellous book, Beyond the Red Door by Janet Shaw from Perth, tells how she thrived at a mainstream school, but fell into despondency a few years later when the authorities insisted that she transfer to a school for children of disabilities. There her abilities were not recognised, only her disabilities. In my own district of country NSW, I hear often of the successful integrated into mainstream classes of children who need extra assistance. In Guyra one school has recently received an award that recognises the caring effort that has made it possible for a child who cannot walk or talk to be involved in every aspect of school life. Schools like this make us proud of our teachers and pupils, and proud of our communities. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The level of lead in the blood of children is once again in the news. In Mt. Isa, a lead mining town in Queensland, Australia, a quarter of the children between one and four years of age have unacceptably high levels of lead in their bodies. Any level above 10 micrograms per deciliter, is too high. One child was found to have a level of 31 micrograms. Indigenous children have been found with the highest levels. The mining company is giving free blood tests to the community and has spent a lot of money on improving emissions and treatment of emissions since 2003 when the alarm was first raised. Follow up tests will be carried out by the health department in 2012. This time frame is too long . A court case is pending by parents of at least one child who suffers from liver and kidney problems, irritability, depression and acute weight loss, learning difficulties and behaviour problems. These are all symptoms of lead poisoning. Health authorities have indicated that hygiene, particularly hand washing is vital to prevent lead ingestion in this community. The worst cases are where children suck thumbs, play in the dirt and have dogs. Children in the first five years of life DO play in the dirt and on the floor in their homes where people have been walking. Having a pet is an important part of life in Australia. Yes, we should see that our kids learn and practise hygiene but fixing the cause of the lead contamination is essential. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright 2008
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